Let’s go back to my high school self – Or maybe 8th grade – I went to a small school (we had 7 kids in our combined 7th and 8th grade class!!! – There were NO 8th graders haha). Then middle of 8th grade my family moved. I was excited for a change, excited to be in a bigger school, meet new friends and hang on to the old ones . . . My life really changed . . .
I had NO CLUE how to make new friends. My old friends and I had grown up together before we hit that awkward stage of judging people. High school came and I was being asked if I was new . . . No one even knew I existed at this new school for the past 6 months! It crushed me the first time someone asked me that, so I continued to stay in my own head. High school is rough for everyone I know, but I hated it, absolutely hated it. I focused on being good at my school work and graduated 1 of 4 valedictorians. You would think I had good things going for me. And I did! Or at least I tried to make it seem like that. Had half of my first year in college paid for through scholarships and more than half saved up in my bank account. Because along with working hard at my education I worked hard at working and saving.
Ok so I had college tuition figured out but what the heck was I going for?! Good at math, interest in a computer drafting class from high school SO Engineering it was! Heck they make great $$$ right?! Who cares if I don’t have any other interest in it because that is what I chose and that is what I will accomplish. 4 years later – Graduating with a Career to start on 3 weeks after graduation.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVED college. Best 4 years for sure! Made some AMAZING friends – had the best roommate anyone could ask for – found the love of my life whom I am now married to – and most importantly learned what it was like to own my own time. We all had it good in college. I worked every summer to pay for the next year of school and I worked during the school year to pay for living expenses. It was like clockwork. And Boom graduated with ZERO debt and about $100 in my bank account!
Fast forward to January 2014. Been working for 2.5 years in the corporate world. Bought our first house and paying for our own wedding in September. Man life is GOOD. Who cares that I have low pride in what I am doing at work – I am making $$$ to pay for all these things! Life is good . . .
With wedding bells in the air I started dreaming of being a stay at home mom, being able to play all day and teach my kids how to love life. Growing up though I told myself I would NEVER rely on someone else to take care of me. This was giving me heartache because I want so bad to be with my kids (when that ever happens haha). My mom owned (and still owns) her own business while I was growing up and I LOVED going to work with her!
Driving home one day in March 2014 – I remember exactly where I was too, I can picture it so clearly – I was doing a routine phone call to my mom to complain about my day so John (husband) didn’t have to always hear how horrible my day was. I asked her why people had to be so rude and negative and her reply was – at work you just have to deal with people like that. I didn’t take that for an answer though. WHAT IF IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY?! I wasn’t happy with my choice of career at all. It wasn’t for ME. It didn’t fulfill my need to feel accomplished and to have purpose. I didn’t have this drive to learn about construction or care about how to improve myself at all. I was going downhill fast. That year I had become a superintendent out in the field and I noticed I cared more about who I was working with than what project I was working on. I wanted to hear how they got where they did and how their families were doing. I have never really been a relationship builder in the past, but I truly CARE about other people. Hearing others stories really got to me.
Remember that amazing roommate I had for 4 years? She took her situation a little differently than I did. We both started out in Engineering, yet she knew it wasn’t for her within that first year, so she took a little time to explore and landed in Nutrition. I fought it. I wanted to keep that decision I made in high school. I had scholarships for Engineering NOT Nutrition. How would I pay for it?! She used college as a time to figure herself out while I watched her fall in love with her career. From the outside she thought I had it going on. Career right out of college, house, husband, dogs . . . etc
On the inside I was hurting. You really should look at your life when you start crying Sunday nights because you can’t wait for another weekend. The people I worked with are amazing people, but I felt like a fake and could never really open up and become true friends with. My fault? YES absolutely. I wish I had been ME, but like back in high school I crawled inside my head and put on a face.
In comes this new light – this new chance – new ME! I constantly looked on craigslist to see if another field looked like me, maybe a job description would light a spark. I kept going to the barista ads – this is what I knew and was one of the best jobs I ever had. I talked to people all day every day and I LOVED it! Maybe I could own a coffee stand? But that still left me clueless when it came to thinking about the future and being able to spend time with our kids. The other category I constantly found myself in were the fitness ads. I couldn’t go back to school though, I didn’t want to start over – stubborn side of me maybe 🙂 And then there it was. An ad that just struck me as ME. It was part time and could be done from home in your spare hours. PERFECT! I will do this for a while and see if it interests me at all! Then I can keep my job and explore at the same time.
January 2015 – I got the courage to see what the future holds as being a fitness and nutrition coach and quit my job!!!! I had kept my dream a secret and it was a shock to most people, but this is ME – this is where I need to be – and this makes me happy! To make money AND be doing something that gives me pride and a sense of accomplishment blows my mind!
The story above is all mental/emotional transformation – it only touches on the physical side of things. This picture shows 2 happy people and a lost person. 2010 I was still in college doing school work like normal, not realizing that I was on the path to an unhappy career choice which lead to 2013 at the heaviest I have ever been. Down 20 pounds in the past 1.5 years and it shows! I never even noticed the extra weight I put on until I was looking back through pictures!!!
jenmariefitness 